What I learned from my mom the teacher
Ask a teacher about his/her parents, and quite often you hear about a family of teachers. I focus on one of my teacher-parents this Mothers Day.
What I learned from my mom the teacher:
1. “Proper” English. I still remember being corrected for using the word kids: ” They are not baby goats.” And I knew how to mentally “test” for subject vs object (I/me) before grade 3. My brother and me NEVER did anything, but my brother and I did.
2. Play with messy things. Even at age 87, she still finds new hobbies so she can play with messy stuff. Lately, it’s making bead jewelry, a true challenge for arthritic fingers. There was the homemade Easter egg phase which we politely called “chocolate turds.” If I introduced her to Pinterest, her small apartment would be buried in messy things she wants to try.
3. Dress with personality. Striped and polkadot socks together. Anything “wild.” If you dress with personality, even middle schoolers will look at you once in a while. After all, middle schoolers have no sense of taste yet, so this “wild” teacher fits in perfectly. If you can’t show personality with clothes, make/wear “wild” jewelry (See item 2 above).
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4. Read what you hear about and tell others what you read about. After discussing The Help with her dermatologist, he recommended a 500 page book about African Americans in the U.S. She bought it the next day. Whatever she hears about or read most recently is prime conversation — with me, with her table mates at dinner in her senior community, with the people at the grocery store. She breathes social learning.
5. School matters. The teachers matter more. First grade and eighth grade matter most. Our entire lives revolved around school. Any wonder that I do what I do today? My only regret is that I do not know what it feels like to grow up in a family where school is not the core. I work hard to envision how life feels in most households where this is not the case.
6. Have a dog. It better be a cocker spaniel, but some others are tolerable. Dogs give you a chance to talk things through without argument and an excuse to go outside. Every child age 10 and up should have a dog so he/she learns to put someone else’s needs first.
7. Sing. I worry that the cuts in school music programs will mean that kids don’t sing anymore. Singing can be simple expression– brash and loud — or the trained compromise of blending into a unison voice with others. Both are important.
8. Faces tell all. Learning to read faces is more important than making them. Her face always told us when we had gone too far, made her laugh inside even though she was outwardly stern, or hit a nerve. I find face-reading one of my most valuable skills as a teacher, a parent, and a person.
9. Be a mentor. Even as an octogenarian, she shares what she knows but also has an uncanny ability to realize that things are not the same now as they were ten or fifty years ago. She guides many with her wisdom without telling them what to do or retro-recommending outdated ideas: teenagers, college students, candidates for the clergy, activity directors, parents, anyone in a role where she can contribute expertise. Those of us who have been teaching a long time relish the chance to play this role with young teachers, former students, and others. If I can mentor without adherence to “the old days” as well as she does, I will be proud.
10. Tell people what you think. Yeah, I know. I take after my mother.
Happy Mothers Day to all.
